To orgasm or not to orgasm, that is the question. Women’s pleasure didn’t use to be such a talked about topic – it was all about the man. His needs, his wants, his ejaculation.  Women’s climax was merely an afterthought.  But this has changed so drastically that now it seems women are EXPECTED to orgasm every time – because if she didn’t, that means the night was unsuccessful, the man can’t feel a sense of victory, and the whole act was a waste of time. This sense of duty and responsibility has led some women to a little anxiety around orgasms – not coming has so many negative connotations! “He will think he wasn’t good, I’m frigid, there is something wrong with me, he thinks it’s me, he thinks it’s him.” Some women feel guilty about their lack of climax or how long it takes to get there.  A man put in so much effort and time, and although quite pleasurable, just did not move her to the explosive end.   Although, any of those fore mentioned negative connotations can definitely be true at any given moment – maybe he just isn’t that good.

I hate to break the bubble, but sometimes it just doesn’t happen, and not for the lack of trying (well, sometimes for the lack of trying).  Yet some women feel such pressure to give a little orgasm performance so that he can think he’s the man, and she will forever be sexually unsatisfied because once you fake an orgasm, there is no un-faking.  He will think he did it! And that means he will do the same thing next time because he thought you loved it! Ah, the vicious fake orgasm cycle begins.

Faking orgasms under ANY circumstance seems like a bad idea. Why? Because you are not just lying to him, you are lying to yourself! Fake enough orgasms and you’ll think you don’t deserve better.  Also, why give credit where credit isn’t due?! Orgasms are explosive, amazing, relaxing, and mind-blowing – don’t let someone take that away from you!  Yes, sometimes the guy just isn’t quite doing it for you. Maybe it’s his technique, maybe your mind isn’t in the right place, or maybe you just really aren’t into it at all. However, you won’t get any satisfaction from your theatrical performance.  In my opinion, lying about an orgasm is just like lying about anything else in a relationship. If it’s a one night stand, sure a little lie might not seem to be that big a deal, but sometimes they turn into something more and then you’re screwed (and not in the good way).  Furthermore, if it is a one night stand, why care so much what the guy thinks anyways.  Faking an orgasm doesn’t make either of you any wiser about achieving pleasure or connecting with another person. Either do what you need to get that happy ending, or just enjoy the pleasurable part before.

Next time just ask yourself WHO you are faking it for and is he really worth the big lie?  Just enjoy the sex for what it is, and try for an orgasm next time around….and if all else fails, invite your vibrator.