Each and every time that I enter into a relationship, I find myself having to answer to those folks who seem to think that there is a schedule involved. Date one: Meet for drinks. Date two: Dinner. Date three: Serious kissing. These people have somehow got it into their heads that we are all supposed to move at the same pace and on the same time line when we meet a new romantic interest.

I find it all frustrating. Since this is one of the few times that I am unable to write without using personal examples. I am going to reveal a bit about myself to prove my point.

At the tender age of 13, I met a boy. He was goofy and tall and confident. We became friends and stayed that way for a very long time. As the years went by and we matured into (young) adults, we recognized that our friendship had the potential to blossom into something more. It was scary to take a chance changing everything we had built to see where a romance might go, but neither of us wanted to pass up an opportunity that might never come around again. As it turns out, that opportunity was once in a lifetime. I met my soul-mate (for those that believe in that type of thing) as a child. Over ten years later, our relationship is still going strong. It isn’t perfect and it is far from easy but our partnership has lasted far longer than those of the people who said we were “too young”.

Making the decision to fully embrace polyamory had many of the same effects. Advice came from all directions, both good and bad. The majority of it was regarding how fast or slow to take things. It seemed like each person that I encountered had some inside perspective on how a relationship is supposed to progress.

Let me tell all of you now: This. Is. Stupid.

It is hard enough to meet someone who strikes your fancy without putting undue pressure on yourself, your budding romance, or your new relationship. Should a person cross your path who lights up your world and you can’t bear to be apart- embrace it. Connecting with another person can be hard. Trying to make things work on some sort of regimented schedule is harder. It is downright ludicrous.

As long as your intuition tells you that things are secure, comfortable, and safe then have no fear. Let things develop as fast or as slow as you want. Sure, there are going to be naysayers and party poopers. Embrace that too. Those people who are giving you advice for your own well being or with your best interests at heart is always good. But those that are attempting to negatively influence your love life, regardless of how overt that interference might be, should be ignored.

Happiness does not come when we expect it. It takes us by surprise. Sometimes it doesn’t make sense and it wouldn’t work for anyone else. Finding happiness with another person…

Well, so long as it works for you- who cares if those on the outside looking in don’t get it?

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