This is going to sound bad but I love my bed. Not in the “my bed is really comfortable” way but in the “I don’t want to sleep in your bed because I spent weeks going through stores and catalogs to get every single aspect of my sleep center just right” way. So when given the choice between sleeping at my boyfriend’s place or at my own…. Well, you know what my vote would be.
Men like their own space, their own stuff. I guess it is territorial but I’ve found that most guys prefer to sleep in their own home. In my relationship with my partner, this isn’t a big deal because we live together. In my relationship with my boyfriend, the solution wasn’t so obvious.
Many times, the end of the night would come and we’d be curled up on his sofa. But rather than stay, I’d head home- to my bed. I think my boyfriend thought I was crazy at first. He hated watching me leave and saying goodbye took up to an hour sometimes but I always left.
One day, he confronted me and I was forced to confess. I prefer my own bed to any comfortable space he could possibly offer in his apartment. It had been a preference that I’d hidden because I was ashamed to admit such selfishness. Instead of it angering him, he laughed.
He told me that he liked the idea of being with me, no matter where we were, and if I’d rather be at my house then he was fine with that.
I brought up the subject with my partner of having my boyfriend sleep at our place. He was hesitant about sharing the space that has always been designated as “just ours” but agreed. Having your partner trust your boyfriend is definitely a perk when you are asking to change one of the main rules in your relationship.
The first time he stayed with me, I had to remind the boyfriend that he would need a change of clothes. The second, not to forget his toothbrush. The third, to bring deodorant. The fourth, again to not forget his toothbrush. The fifth, to just keep a toothbrush at my house. In the beginning, he stayed one night. Then it became part of the next day and then most of the next day. Eventually, we were spending days together while my partner was out of town for work.
The bed issue which had seemed so serious a few months ago has now become a non-issue. He admits mine is more comfortable anyway.
