Ok, so I freely admit that I used to be an avid fan of JON & KATE PLUS 8. I tuned in weekly to see Kate over schedule her kids’ lives, fret over insignificant details, berate Jon, and try to be the perfect mother. I admired how she tried to make a difficult situation enjoyable and marveled at the fact that her anal retentive organizational skills kept life normal for the family. I saw Jon as the man who couldn’t tie his own shoes without his wife telling him how to do it but who was the fun and involved father. Their life didn’t seem to be perfect but it seemed to be blissful.

When rumors started to circulate that there was a rift between the Gosselin parents, I wasn’t surprised. No one else seemed to be either. I felt extremely sorry for the kids because this was a situation that they were living out in the public eye. Jon seemed to thrive on the freedom of being out from under Kate’s thumb, but she didn’t appear to enjoy the situation at all. If anything, she seemed devastated. Their arrangement of the kids staying in the home while the parents rotated in and out was odd but the world hoped that the children would remain the priority and they could live with some semblance of normalcy.

That was then.

Now we see Jon donning designer digs and vacationing in Europe, sans family, with a girlfriend. No one seemed to question that he was suddenly attached so soon after a separation was announced because everyone seemed certain that Kate’s controlling and smothering ways had caused the rift in the first place. Within weeks of being photographed frolicking with his new fling, Jon was publicly attached to another woman. Kate was said to have had an affair with her bodyguard but pictures of her with him and his wife put the kibosh on that idea quickly. Public opinion swayed against her when she would publicly disapprove of Jon’s choice in babysitters—women he was rumored to be dating.  Especially after Mr. Gosselin discussed the issues with anyone who would listen.

The public is aware that the kids live in the million dollar estate and one parent at a time is there for their visitation. Kate seemed to maintain her focus on her kids while living in the house and in her off time, she continued to generate income for her family. Jon, on the other hand, has passed the 8 off to a nanny during his scheduled visitation so that he could party it up. Slowly but surely, it has become more and more obvious that Kate has remained tactfully polite about things while Jon will badmouth his soon to be ex-wife to tabloids, paparazzi, journalists, the milkman, you name it.

TLC, the television network who has filmed the twins, sextuplets, and their parents for the past few years has been stuck in the middle, just as the children. They have contracts to fulfill and an audience to satisfy. America is very aware that this is a business, a previously lucrative one, and TLC wants to salvage some part of that franchise. This last week, it was announced that the show would take on a new name “Kate Plus 8″. Since Jon’s focus seems to have shifted away from his children, it was the obvious choice. Everyone sighed with relief that the drama was probably over with and we could see the kids grow up in their newly defined family successfully. All along Mr. Gosselin has said that he was not in favor of the show and didn’t appreciate the exploitation of his offspring, despite appreciating the financial windfalls because of said show.

This is when the bombshell was dropped, Jon Gosselin, without talking to his children, his soon-to-be-ex-wife, or the network, had his attorneys issue a cease and desist order for filming. The show that brought him into the limelight and has been the family’s primary source of income is now on hold, permanently. Some people applauded Jon for putting his foot down about having a camera crew virtually living in the home constantly. Others wondered if his intentions were so good, why did he only make the decision after he was given a minor role in the show and why didn’t he discuss his choice with his family? He left Kate holding the bag of trying to figure out how to break the news to the children.

Yesterday, I reached my final straw with this ongoing saga. In a moment of understandable anger and weakness, Kate let it slip that Jon had cleaned out their bank accounts. He refused to talk with her or their kids and uses his attorney as his mouthpiece for all communication.

Now I get that Kate wasn’t the best wife but no one can say she isn’t a wonderful mother. After the unexpected birth of so many kids, she and Jon made the decision to televise their lives. Whether it was a mistake or not, this decision put food on the table and allowed her kids to live better than they would have otherwise. They have had more opportunities than they would have if Jon had stayed with his computer job and Kate had kept working in nursing full time. Kate kept the lives of their family on track with schedules and lists. When the show reached a level of success that no one could have predicted their lifestyle changed. I have a hard time believing that TLC ever set out to make things difficult for the Gosselins. If you watch the outtakes of the show, the kids clearly show an affectionate and playful relationship with the crew that has surrounded them.

This is their “normal.”

Let’s face it people. Without this show, both of these parents would have had to work full time to make ends meet. It is unlikely there would have been vacations or a new house when their tiny home got too small. Jon would probably have had to take a second job and it is doubtful either parent could have found the time to let the kids participate in extracurricular activities. Every dime would have been devoted to buying groceries for the family of ten (a bill equal to or exceeding a mortgage payment) and paying the bills. Now that the marriage has disintegrated, Kate, previously portrayed as the villain, has taken the high road. She has maintained her public persona while not trying to make Jon the bad guy. Her behavior has shown us all that her children are and have always been her priority. Her actions now seem to be driven to find a way to support them and learn to be a single mother.

Jon has done nothing but attempt to sully Kate’s name and reputation. He has besmirched everything that he once seemed to personify. Gone are the cute sweaters and they have been replaced by a head to toe Ed Hardy ensemble.

I’m tired of seeing this woman, this mother, this wife, trying to do the very best with the tools in her hands and be demonized. It is clear that the moment Jon saw himself as free of his responsibilities; he thought he was entitled to go crazy. Now that he has been forced to depart the gravy train, he has even said that he wants to halt the divorce proceedings but of course, that too came from his lawyer and he didn’t bother to tell Kate.

Does anyone else just wish that this man would grow the hell up? The show may be over but Kate has a right to make ends meet however she can to provide for these kids. Because no matter what label is on Jon’s shirt or how many bikinis Kate is photographed in at the beach, there are 8 people who have been forgotten about in the chaos. These 8 need to grow up with solid role models and stability. They need to be able to see that their parents’ divorce was handled with maturity and grace. They have to be able to love both their mother and their father. They need to feel safe and secure.

I say that if the show continues, who cares. Either it will succeed or it won’t. In the end, Kate needs to stop talking to the media altogether about her family. She can keep up the public appearances but she doesn’t have to discuss her marital woes. Jon needs to give up the sorority girlfriends and fraternity lifestyle because he’s too old for that now. He needs to shut the fuck up and stop trying to play the victim. He needs to grow a pair and remember that a real man takes care of his family.

Because in the end, the most important people in this situation aren’t named Jon or Kate, they are named Mady, Cara, Hannah, Leah, Alexis, Joel, Colin, and Aaden.