It’s tough being a sexual athlete

There have been a few men in my life (or rather in my bed) who seemed to have watched a bit too much porn in their free time.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love porn.  I watch all kinds of porn on a regular basis and quite enjoy it. All the sweaty bodies slapping together and gruff noises coming from the couples make for some nice late night entertainment. But it’s important to remember one thing when you see these sexual athletes perform – they are SEXUAL ATHLETES! Do you watch football and think you can do what they do on the field? NO! So why is it that people assume that they can have sex like porn stars?

Getting back to the men in my bed, on a number of occasions, I have found myself flipped around every 5 seconds because one position just wasn’t good enough for longer than that. How the hell am I supposed to enjoy the sex?  I can barely think about how my clit is going to get stimulated before I get tossed into another position like a rag doll.

Or let’s talk about movement.  The men who flip me around so enthusiastically act as if they have very little knowledge of basic sex techniques when it comes to inserting their penis into my vagina. The hips are doing circles, moving up, moving down, left, right, and sideways. Orgasms are out of the question because I’m too busy watching the circus tricks happening on my vagina!

But, I should also point out that women porn stars are incredibly flexible, more so than the average woman, because great angles make for the perfect camera shot!  And when people get the majority of their ideas about sex from porn, it’s easy to think this is the correct way to have sex. But, most women are not porn stars; they do not want to be twisted like a pretzel while you pound away!

What about being able to go all night?  Now I am a huge fan of being so passionate with someone you are able to stay up all night — fucking, laughing, playing, kissing, cuddling — but way too many people see going all night as “gotta insert my penis into vagina all night long.” If someone had vaginal intercourse with me all night long I would be screaming in pain by morning!  My vagina is not a theme park — it cannot be open all the time.  Editing does wonders and makes porn stars look as if they are lasting for hours!  Besides, they have been doing this for a while, they get paid to have sex and probably use amazing amounts of lubricants, Viagra in some cases and probably ice after!

And now, penis size.  Let’s start with the fact that most porn stars are tiny little women; little over 5” and weighing about 100lbs!  Production companies cast small women because they make a penis look HUGE!  Advice: if you want to make your junk look porn worthy, shave your pubic region! Because without surgery, shaving is about all you can do to make your penis look larger.

So I say just relax! Enjoy the sex you are having without trying to live up to some porn standards.  If you want to fuck like a porn star, become a porn star – and leave my vagina to the regular naughty Joe’s!