It never ceases to amaze me when friends that have been in relationship (or in and out of relationships) for years tell me that they are unsatisfied with their sex life.
The discussions always lead down the same road….. That things have gotten boring.
So in an effort to spice things up for all of you, my friends and readers; it is time to learn a lesson. A lesson in foreplay!
For the ladies:
My fellow chicks, I am aware that the male genitalia can be intimidating. It isn’t exactly pretty, there are a couple of accessories that can be distracting, and grooming standards have yet to be standardized. This has led many ladies to ignore or rush through the pre-penetration activities. First, it is just a penis. There is no need to panic! Touching it in any way is going to help it rise to the occasion and will always be appreciated. Try stroking, caressing, or (hell) even exploring his more delicate regions to find out where his particular sensitive areas are. This intimate knowledge gives you an edge; you know how he likes it.
If you are unsure of the basics of there are some tips.
-Not every guy can get or keep an erection. On the underside of his shaft, there is a vein that runs the length. By massaging it gently, you are increasing the blood flow and things will pop up in no time.
-Just under the head, along the ridge, on the underside there is a nerve grouping. Be gentle but give this area some much needed attention, your man will appreciate it.
-Lube is your friend. If you are going to be giving your man a hand job, dry skin on dry skin isn’t always pleasant. So either lotion up your hand ahead of time or be willing to use some lubricants to make the sliding a little easier.
-His balls really are the family jewels. I know, they look weird and just kind of hang there, but trust me on this one. Hold the sack in your hand and (gently) massage. Think of how you would juggle a pair of meditation balls in your fingers, rotating them in your hand…. Your man’s junk likes how that feels too. A few squeezes here and there can be good but keep it soft.
-Men like their nipples played with. Kiss ‘em, suck ‘em, nibble on ‘em, just don’t forget about ‘em.
-Oral. Do it! A lot of women are unsure of their oral skills. I have a very simple suggestion; let your man guide the way. Have him teach you what he likes or what feels good! Keep the suction going; don’t forget to use your tongue, and coordinating hand movements can help too. If all else fails, think of his dick as a lollipop (yes, I mean literally), he’ll love you for twirling the tip around your tongue!
For you men:
In your rush to bang, guys tend to forget that a lady’s engine must be warmed up, cold starts don’t usually work. We need coaxing into sexual activities. Everyone knows that the end goal is penetration but you can’t run a marathon without doing a few warm up exercises. Be aware that some girls are uncomfortable being naked in front of you, so the brighter the lights, the shorter the show. On the other hand, we don’t want you fumbling around in the dark, trying to guess what goes where; so a happy medium will work nicely.
-Our bodies are a scavenger hunt. You know there is going to be buried treasure when you get to the end but reading the map along the way helps you on the journey.
-Kissing is a must. It helps us gauge whether or not there is chemistry with you. And! How good you are with your tongue. Yep, if you can’t kiss then chances are you will be failing the oral exam too.
-Ears, neck, and shoulders. I’m not sure why these are erogenous zones but they are. Trail your fingers along them, kiss softly, bite gently and we’ll start to melt.
-Hair really is like handlebars. I’m going to guide you into this one. Spread your fingers, put them into the hairline at the base of the neck, and get a good grip. It isn’t really about hair “pulling”, it is about getting a good hold. You can use this to guide us. And newsflash, having a man control the tempo during a make-out session is fucking hot!
-Boobs are just boobs. Yes, we like them played with and yes, you should show attention but while they are a playground to you, they are just boobs to us. We aren’t quite as fascinated with our tits as you gentlemen are. So after the initial fascination of seeing our chest, get the show on the road!
-Inner thighs, hips, and butt will unlock better things to come. The saying “close but no cigar” comes to mind with these regions. You are right there and boy, do our bodies know it. Tease away, gentlemen!
-Fingers: appetizers before the main course. We may not be ready to have ALL of you inside us but a preview would be nice. If you do external rubbing, great! Rolling the nub between your thumb and forefinger is fabulous. But if you do internal rubbing, even better! In the words of the legend, Mr. Trent Reznor, feel us from the inside. While poking and jabbing can be pleasant, let me teach you the best method: palm up, insert first finger, curl it slightly (that ridge/bulge is known as the g spot), then thrust in and out. Ta-da!
-Your tongue + our clit = fireworks. On to the best part! Women love oral. If a woman says different, then she hasn’t had it done right. So part the seas, set sail, and bon voyage! While kissing downstairs is nice, we really want your tongue. You can lick the inner lips (up one side/ down the other), insert the tongue, whatever but you need to find the clitoris. Once there, kiss it, lick it, suck it, bite it until she goes wild. If you need a new trick…. Turn your head slightly, take the clit and hood into your mouth, bite gently, apply suction, and then drag your teeth as you pull your head back.
I know that sex is great and it is always going to be the main event. But don’t just go to the theater for the main show; enjoy the previews along the way. Sometimes, you discover something new and you’ll want to remember it for future reference…. I promise!