Man Uses Math Equation to Explain Why He’s Single (Fox Charlotte)

IS A BEARD RIGHT FOR YOU?
This is the first thing to keep in mind, because not everyone can rock a beard. You could have patchy facial hair, a handsome face that has no business hiding behind a bunch of scruff, or a beard just may not suit you. Ask around, figure out if a beard is right for you. Beards are sexy, but sometimes they hide parts of your face that you are less than thrilled with. Maybe you have less than perfect skin or you chin comes in multiples; a beard will mask imperfections and highlight the best parts of your face.

ALWAYS CONDITION YOUR BEARD
A beard is the ultimate symbol of manliness (wearing flannel and hanging out with a big blue ox is a little over-kill though). I can think of nothing I love more than feeling a man’s beard on my skin. Be it a little stubble or a full deliciously bushy beard, once you decide to grow it you’ll need to start thinking of the hair differently. Just like you shampoo and condition your hair (and if you’re not conditioning your hair after shampooing, then you need to get on that too) in the shower, adding a little conditioner to your beard will soften the hair, decrease the occurrences of ingrown hairs, and leave the follicles silky smooth and touchable. Your beard will be way more manageable for you, and your lady friend will be so thrilled I promise she’ll start thinking dirty thoughts about where on her body you can test the softness.

A TIDY BEARD IS A HAPPY BEARD
Women keep themselves tidy down there, so consider that when rubbing your face all over a lady pocket. I’m not suggesting you need to trim it every day that would defeat the functionality of the beard. Keep your neck shaved and the length of the beard the same—a patchy, yet full beard, looks more hobo than appealing. Long beards are totally acceptable, but remember that you are a man with a beard, don’t let the beard overshadow you. We still want to see the man behind the beard.

IT’S TOO HOT/COLD FOR MY BEARD!!
ALWAYS mind the weather when deciding to grow out your beard. Why would you want to wear a full beard in the middle of a Texas summer, when a little stubble would do suit you just as well? Also, does it make sense to shave that beard you spent months growing two weeks into December when the wind chill is as cold as the Arctic Tundra? Yes, beards are more function than fashion, however if you start to think of it as an accessory you can figure out the perfect times to have a fuller beard versus a shadow beard.

AND FINALLY, REMEMBER THE BEARD MAGNET
Beards will undoubtedly attract a hand or two. Be prepared when a beard loving lady asks to rub your beard. It’s her way of getting close and expressing interest in you. Decide if this is something you are willing to have happen—if not, shave that beard, you are not worthy!

P.S. Facial hair funniness! Source: Holy Taco

NERD

Ah, how times have changed. Getting good grades is not something to just please the parents anymore, it is a status symbol. And those chess club devotees grow up to rule the world.

I wasn’t the typical nerd growing up, if there really is such a thing. I’m the girl that played soccer, got good grades and was in tons of extracurricular activities. My geek status was gained through a belonging to the school’s JROTC program. I mean, it is hard to avoid ridicule in a quasi-military uniform.

Becoming an adult has truly solidified my dorkhood though. I developed a fascination with graphic novels and science fiction (think Transformers, not Star Trek). I carry a book or two in my purse wherever I go, and have made earning a higher education a permanent part of my life, instead of a passing one.

But the older I get, the more it seems like my dorky interests actually make me more interesting instead of less. When some guy finds out that I own most of the comic books that he’s read, he is impressed. When I tell people that I am going back to college for a math degree, I go up a notch in the esteem of my audience. When someone spots one of my many tattoos, I am considered unique.

The cheerleaders from my childhood peaked at sixteen and the football players are all past their glory days. It is a strange turn of events for me. I see the kids that tortured me through adolescence still living in the same town, working dead end jobs with no prospects for bigger and better things.

Popular culture now glorifies movies made from 80’s cartoons or about aliens. My thick plastic glasses are now called librarian chic by the boys in my life. I revel in my social upgrade because I’m no longer a reject. The way I was teased and treated by others has made me more careful in how I interact with those around me. I use tact and respect to make my friends feel valued. I accept our differences and laugh at them too. They enjoy my fascination with vampires and I acquiesce when they ask that I join them for an episode of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA. We are all happily unhip now because we’ve learned that who we are is more important than fitting in. Though I must say, it is a pleasant surprise to learn that now my nerdy attributes make me cool.

hey girl heeeyyyy! the break up list continues! i know break ups are hard, but you MUST handle your shit and take control of your life! you can’t just fall to pieces! do not let your heart drop into the pit of your stomach! keep moving, and keep busy! the minute you stop, you might collapse, so just keep going forward:

DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT PICK AT YOUR FACE!

Weird, my mother says the same thing…

DO NOT CHECK HIS FACEBOOK/TWITTER PAGE/OR BLOG EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR!

This one’s tough for me too. But seriously!  I promise he’s not checking your statuses, receiving your mobile updates, or even following you anymore, so you’re really only upsetting yourself every time you check his updates.  REMINDER: reading his stuff is no longer research–it’s stalking!!!

BREATHE! STOP WONDERING WHEN, AND WITH WHO HE’S GONNA MAKE-OUT WITH OR SEXX FIRST! DON’T LET HIS ACTIONS DEFINE YOUR ACTIONS. ONLY PAY ATTENTION TO YOURSELF! MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. AND WHEN YOU’RE READY/WANT TO FOOL AROUND WITH SOMEONE NEW- DO IT! BUT DON’T TRY TO PROVE A POINT TO HIM.

And anyway, there is nothing worse than making out with someone in a parking lot, getting totally into it, and then opening your eyes and realizing it’s not him. TRUST you’ll get there, but don’t rush it.

DO NOT SLEEP WITH ANY/ALL OF YOUR EX’S FRIENDS! IT’S NOT COOL. NOT COOL AT ALL. UNLESS HE DID IT TO YOU. THEN GO FOR IT. AN EYE FOR AN EYE! EVEN IF IT MIGHT MAKE THE WORLD BLIND!

Totally not my thing and totally not cool…

YOU CAN’T BE MAD IF HE KISSES/SEXXXES SOMEONE NEW. HE’S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND ANYMORE.

(HOLY FUCK. THAT LAST ONE WAS EVEN TOO MUCH FOR ME, AND I’M WRITING THIS LIST! YUCK. JUST THE THOUGHT MAKES ME WANT TO CRAWL UNDER A ROCK AND DIE/FUCK EVERYONE AS I RIP HIS HEART OUT FOR MAKING ME DO IT- CUZ HE DID IT FIRST AND I WANT TO SHOW HIM HOW MUCH HIS ACTIONS HURT ME. EVEN THOUGH HE’S NOT MINE/NOT MY LITTLE BEAR CUB ANYMORE! ANYWAYZIES, BACK TO WHAT I WAS SAYING ABOUT STAYING POSITIVE:)

This is the one fact that I can’t even begin to stomach.  I hate thinking about it (I do think about it more than I should) and hand-to-God I hope I never have to see him tongue wrestle anyone…=(

DON’T WASTE TOO MUCH TIME RE-HASHING WHAT HAPPENED, WITH EVERY PERSON YOU KNOW WHO CALLS AND SAYS ‘WHAT HAPPENED?’ IT’S OK FOR THE FIRST COUPLE OF DAYS. BUT OTHER THAN THAT, IT’S EATING INTO TIME THAT COULD BE SPENT MUCH MORE PRODUCTIVELY!

And honestly everyone you’ve talked to about it is sick and tired of hearing about your broken heart.  It’s not that they don’t love you and want you to be happy, it’s just that the whole situation is out of anyone’s control.

MAKE-OUT WITH VINCENT GALLO!

Or if VG isn’t your speed, making-out in the back alley of the Four Season’s with any other creepy-sexy celebrity/man will do just fine

WITHOUT KNOWING HOW OR WHY, ASSUME YOU’LL BE ATTENDING THE ACADEMY AWARDS NEXT YEAR- AND LIVE YOUR LIFE ACCORDINGLY! TAKE YOURSELF SERIOUSLY, MAINTAIN YOUR BEAUTY, AND TREAT YOURSELF LIKE THE PRINCESS YOU ARE! NO YOU!

This is what we like to call “putting it out in the Universe”

MOISTURIZE EVERY BIT OF YOUR BODY BEFORE BED! ESPECIALLY YOUR BOOBS EVEN!

I especially like this point, because it will make you feel pretty! And everyone should feel pretty!!

Source: IMBOYCRAZY

She looked happier than I’d seen her in years and more angelic than ever. The first thing that I noticed was that she’d had her teeth whitened. She proceeded to tell me that it had been a gift to make her feel better, but I didn’t understand why she’d been down in the first place. When she opened up, I was absolutely stunned. My friend admitted she’d started to develop adult acne a few years ago. It had gotten so bad that she never had one pimple, but dozens on any given day. After her fiancé proposed to her, she had considered refusing him because the idea of having her face photographed was terrifying. With us living so far apart and visiting so rarely, I’d missed seeing the outbreaks at their worst and had always just thought she was hormonal.

Apparently her acne had taken a toll on her. She had a breakdown and realized she needed to try something drastic after all the over the counter skin care systems, and a few prescription treatments as well, had failed.  Her dermatologist recommended using Acutane. My trip coincided with the fifth month of treatment. Her skin had not a single blemish and the redness was completely gone. My friend had a bounce in her step and confidence enough to venture into public sans makeup. Because I had been so focused on all her other amazing qualities, I had never seen the pain that this struggle with acne had caused for my oldest friend.  I only saw her generosity, bubbly personality, intelligence, and humor. I saw the same ethereal woman that everyone else did. But my friend was blinded by her flaw, and I realized this must be how it is for a lot of people.

Each person has something about themselves that they don’t care for. While the issue may seem irrelevant or irrational to the rest of the world, it can be a self esteem crusher. Learning how to look past our own flaws is incredibly difficult. For some people these unique characteristics become monumental obstacles, a personal Mt. Everest. Weight seems to be the most common problem that causes self loathing but there are others. Some people struggle with overcoming social awkwardness, others hate their teeth. None of us have any way of predicting what these insecurities may be.

© Leslie Richard Jacobs/Corbis

We need to stop focusing our energies on those things we hate and start embrasing the parts of us that are great. It is time to see ourselves as others do. There is always going to be someone out there who is taller, cuter, thinner, funnier, smarter, etc. but no one has set the bar so high for us that we are unable to reach it. If you don’t like the reflection in the mirror, it is time to do something about it. Go to the gym, create a new wardrobe, try out a new hairstyle, but most importantly, make a change for the better. We all know that there can be change without improvement but there cannot be improvement without change.

Learning to love the positive things about ourselves can be hard. We often become so focused on our perceived problem areas that these positive attributes become invisible. This lack of proper vision can erode a person’s self confidence. My friend only saw the acne on her face, but failed to see the amazing body she occupied. She forgot that she is a spontaneous and selfless person.

If you have a big nose, you can either learn to love it or have it surgically altered. But don’t forget about the amazing eyes and smile you have. If you hate your height, accept that you aren’t going to be any taller and recognize that you make every person around you laugh.

It is time for the world to stop missing the good traits. Some of us are shy but incredibly entertaining. Others of us are clumsy but smart. Each person is beautiful in their own way. Sometimes, it just takes someone shining a light on that and showing an appreciation for us to see it. We each need to find value in ourselves because if we don’t, no one else will.