So here are the steps… Short simple and to the point!

Follow the list….. IN ORDER!

First, check for updates by going to Start > All Programs > Windows Updates. Choose the ones that you want and select OK to download them.

Now download ccleaner. (Remember, “run” not “save”) With it, you are able to schedule routine checks. What the program does is delete all cache, cookies, and temporary internet files(both on and offline). Just close your browser while you run it. Go ahead and use the ccleaner now.

We’ll need to make several alterations in various areas of your computer now. Go into your Start > Control Panel. From here, you’re going to have a lot to do. Start with Hardware > Devices > uninstall or delete those devices that you no longer use. Next, User Accounts > change your settings so that Windows doesn’t notify you EVERY time you make a change to your system (simply bc it is annoying). Follow this up with Appearance & Personalization > Display > adjust resolution to the highest setting (warning: the screen will go funky while it adjusts). This one is a doozy: Taskbar & Start Menu > this is where you are going to choose what is displayed at the bottom Task bar and when you click on Start….. Taskbar > choose how you want your taskbar (right hand side at bottom normally) to look. Start Menu > choose what you want to show in your Start Menu. Lastly, Toolbar > choose those programs that you want to show their toolbars in the taskbar. Click Apply and then OK.

Next in the Control Panel is System Security > System > System Properties > Hardware tab > Device Installation Settings > change this to update automatically (this way you dont have to constantly check for updates for what you use with your computer. Now go to the Advanced tab > Performance Settings > Visual Effects > Let Windows choose what is best. Advanced tab > best Performance. Data Exectution > run for essential programs. Click OK.

After this, you’ll be back at System Properties > Advanced > Start Up & Recovery Settings > Make changes as you would like. Click OK. If there are any other changes you want, do so. Click OK.

Now, go to Start > Computer > right click on Hard Disk C: drive. From here, you are going to do a few different tasks.

Go to Tools tab. Check for Errors (won’t do it until you restart the computer). Then click on Defragment Now (will take quite some time- an hour or so). ****DO NOT DO ANYTHING DURING THIS PROCESS**** When this finishes, go to General tab & select the checkbox to compress all files on the disk then uncheck the box that indexes file contents. Click Apply. Make sure that you choose to do this action to the disk and all files, subfiles, and subfolders. Not all of them will be able to make the changes > click ignore all. Next, still on the General tab, click on Disk Cleanup. This is going to clean up all the space on your computer. Once again, this takes some time.

After this, Start > Control Panel > Uninstall Programs. Choose those programs that you don’t use or need & uninstall them. NOTE: If you aren’t sure- LEAVE IT!!!! Some programs download other programs to run their software. One thing you will want to uninstall is Java & J2SE. At this point, Now you are going to go to Adobe and make sure that you update any programs that you currently use (will be listed in the Programs list for the uninstall section). When ALL of this is done, go to Java and click on Free Java Download. This will scan your computer and download the newest versions of Java to your computer (which is essential for almost all internet access).

Now, restart your computer. When it boots up, it will look like DOS. DON’T WORRY!!!

Congrats, you have just made changes to your computer so it will run better & more efficiently.  This process may be time consuming but it will prevent massive delays in performance.

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Our good friends over at Big Fan Boy originally published this review. Go check out their site, because they are awesome!

As I’m just now getting my hearing back and my heart has finally stopped racing, I guess it is as good of a time as any to nail down my thoughts on the newest TWILIGHT SAGA movie. It may be too ambitious for me to jump right in and declare my undying love for Jasper…oh wait, I mean ECLIPSE (Jasper is a character, not a movie! Get your hormones in check Reyes!). But I’ve never been one to do what is expected of me. I’m an adult and I love/hate Stephanie Meyers’ TWILIGHT SAGA, that’s just something you need to know about me.

The two previous films, TWILIGHT and NEW MOON, bring out a certain level of 16 year-old girl in me that is not always pretty. I live in a magical world full of unicorns and cupcakes when I watch these movies, simply due to their engaging nature. I imagine what it would be like to live in Forks, Washington straddling the werewolf and vampire boundaries, tied to both sides by my love for two men. And just before our final, epic kiss/battle/death match I come crashing back to reality. Let’s be honest, this is a make-believe world for teens, and I’m no longer a teen.

Walking into ECLIPSE I had the same sickening feeling in my stomach when NEW MOON finished—the feeling that this movie was actually TRYING to be good. It no longer embraced the camp, and instead favored the serious. It didn’t work for me in NEW MOON, but ECLIPSE is a different story entirely. This time around I went with it and was rewarded with a guilty pleasure that I’m not ashamed to admit to everyone I really liked.

The recently reunited Bella Swan and Edward Cullen (Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson) are relaxed and incredibly comfortable with each other, a level of comfort we hadn’t seen in the previous movies. Yes, wolfy Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner) is still trying to win Bella’s affection, but he (and any TWILIGHT fan) knows that Bella belongs with Edward. It doesn’t stop him from brooding around and breaking stuff when he gets mad after learning that Bella loves both him and Edward.  But unlike the book versions of these characters, Jacob and Edward both allow Bella to choose who she wants. Brownie points for that.

Director David Slade (30 DAYS OF NIGHT, HARD CANDY) brings another positive element to the saga—the visualization of the fan-favorite vampire army battle. I won’t go into too much detail, since there is something to be said for an intense fight scene, but trust me when I say even guys who are tricked into seeing this movie will be pleased. The special effects and action in that final scene are fantastically choreographed and amazingly satisfying. It was a moment even the most arduously judgmental Twi-hard will admit matched the book’s fervor.

I’m not saying that I love these movies because they are great works of sweeping romance and Oscar-worthy writing and acting, that would be laughable and a lie. I love them because they are so campy, cheesy, and downright hilarious that it’s impossible not to like them. If you go in ready to enjoy the next 2 hours full of teen angst and acting only a termite would love, then you are already in the right place.

And just so you know I’ve NEVER made a TEAM JASPER shirt. Okay, I totally have.

So for those of you who are still PC users, I have some recommendations to make your systems run faster. Before starting- it is important that you create a restore point for your computer so that if something goes wrong, you are safe!

1-      Uninstall it all

It is amazing just how much crap we have to install on our computers to use them. Some of these programs aren’t even actual programs, they are programs designed to help you install other programs. So from Start, go into Control Panel. Select Programs & Features and let the work begin. Go through the list of everything on your computer. If it isn’t software that you are currently using then uninstall. Most of the time, we have to download plug-ins and then totally forget about them. If you come across an item that is unfamiliar- STOP! Just because it is something you aren’t aware of, do NOT get rid of it automatically. Use the internet and search to find out what it is for. If you don’t need it for the essential part of your system then feel free to delete.

2-      Program files store everything.

Despite uninstalling programs, the files are still going to be on your computer. You have to manually get rid of them. In order to do this, you will need to go back and forth between the Control Panel’s Programs & Features and the main file folder. From Start, select Computer. The drivers on your machine will come up- choose the local disk (usually C). Find the “Program Files” folder. At this point, you will need to go line by line to get rid of the data. Don’t worry about opening the folders unless you aren’t sure what is in it. If it has been uninstalled from Programs & Features, then you don’t need the file folder anymore. Be careful though! Your system will warn you if you are attempting to delete folders that contain data that is essential for function.

3-      Shadow files are the enemy

What few of us realize is that Windows is set up to save multiple copies of files. When software or programs are installed, the item is stored in more than one location. When an item is created, it is saved in every single version that Windows uses or has ever used. Suddenly, you have five copies of the same information. There is really no need for this. To prevent your system from taking up the extra space, get rid of the shadow program. It is different depending upon the version of Windows that you use but it isn’t necessary.

4-      External hard drives are your friend

We often save programs and files to our computers out of convenience when we don’t need to. Hooking up an external hard drive enables us to save programs that are vital without losing portability. If the computer crashes, the data is stored somewhere else and safe. Externals aren’t a replacement for full system storage. Many people are now using online back-up programs instead of traditional hardware devices but that is a personal preference. Change the automatic download and save location to your external for your default setting. Then make sure that you regularly create restore points on your back-up. Think of this as your “just in case”.

5-      Fix those drivers

Few people realize that their PC can be running so many drivers and devices at one time that the memory is full before they even open a program. The lack of memory available is what slows your computer down. A big way to boost the speed of your machine is to stop your system from running operations that aren’t being used. In other words, if you don’t need them to be running; they shouldn’t be.

If you are frustrated with the speed and overall operation of your computer, it isn’t a difficult process to make changes. Even small alterations can make a difference!

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Note: It is a bad idea for anyone who isn’t knowledgeable to start changing the way a computer works without consulting an expert. So don’t start tinkering around unless you are certain about what you are doing. And create a restore point before changing anything!

Think again.

Those who would infect your computer aren’t just out there to steal YOUR information. They know that by gaining access to your computer, they can monitor your every key stroke. They can see what username and passwords you use for everything, not just financial. This allows them to create a world of opportunity for themselves and all on YOUR computer.

Look at it this way- if they can take over your computer then doesn’t that mean that they can use it to do whatever they want? Suddenly, you have the FBI knocking at YOUR door because it was your system that they traced. How would you go about combating that charge? I mean if the virus originated from your ISP address then, in their eyes, you are a suspect. Or look at another scenario- a hacker uses your saved key strokes to log on (as you) to your work’s intranet from your home computer under the guise of doing some work but instead they have gained access to your company’s internal and protected files. There is a different possibility- suddenly every single contact that you have on Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, Google, Skype, AIM, everything: is going to get an email from YOU with a virus. Even if it isn’t your fault, who are they going to blame?

I have a few recommendations for those of you that think you are safe and for those of you that don’t.

First, turn off your computer if you aren’t using it. I don’t mean let it “sleep” or “hibernate”; I mean “shut down”. When your computer still has the power on but you aren’t using it, there is no need for it to be left on. One- it drains your electric bill. Two- it is still running. No, you may not be using it but the system itself is still up and going. By cutting the power supply to your computer, you prevent anyone from accessing it while you aren’t sitting in front of it. If all else fails, hit the switch on your surge protector to completely cut power.

Second, don’t access every website. Just because your friend posted a link with a funny line next to it does NOT mean that you have to visit the site. How many times have you seen a friend put just such a link up on Twitter or Facebook and then, the next day, post that they were hacked? I’ve lost count of the times this has happened to people that I know. Even if you receive a private message or email from a friend, don’t access the site. Answer their message and ask what it is that they want you to view. Facebook is dandy when it comes to posting links because they put a preview of the site up with the original post. If it isn’t legitimate, then there won’t be a preview.

Third, protect your browser. In your internet browser’s security settings, you need to limit what sites can be accessed. If it is going to be something for adult eyes only then password protecting isn’t going to be a big deal. The major reason however is that most browsers will warn you if you are going to be accessing a website that can’t be verified through security settings. It goes beyond using a pop-up blocker. Some of the most well known corporations today have had their websites compromised by hackers and simply going to their site can mean your system has become at risk for a virus and malware.

Fourth, BUY ANTI-VIRUS SOFTWARE! I don’t mean once either. I mean annually. Buying a computer means that you are allowing a portion of your private life to be accessible via the internet. You have to protect yourself! Using the anti-virus software that comes with your system isn’t going to keep you safe. It is usually only a trial offer. It is the lowest rung of the ladder of self-protection. Oh and it expires. You have to renew your subscription to keep getting the latest versions of these programs. Most of them will automatically update throughout the time of your subscription and they will warn you if you haven’t scanned your computer for a period of time or if something is found. For the scan, I set up mine to do so every time I turn my system on. Yes, it does slow down the initial start-up but better to be safe than sorry.  As for the “if something is found”, most anti-virus programs will isolate whatever the file is from the rest of your computer. It will then allow you to decide whether or not it should be removed from your system.

No one wants to feel like they are at risk when they are online. No one wants to admit that they are putting themselves at risk. Just remember that it is diligence and forethought that will keep your identity, your computer, your email, and even your friends safe. It is four simple steps to online safety and even those are 100% guarantees. But at least they are steps in the right direction.

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However, the highlight of my time with these two gentlemen was watching a cut of a fake trailer they made for a remake of CITIZEN KANE. So, now that they have released the clip to the masses, it is my duty to share it too!

Check it out! And then hop over to Youtube and watch it again!

With the popularity of the Livestrong bracelet, everyone seems to be sporting rubber around their wrist for one cause or another. It is no wonder that this style is now being worn instead of traditional jewelry, even for medical alert items. However, the CARE Memory Band has one major exception. It doesn’t have engravings for allergies or conditions and unlike its predecessors, there is clasp- made from a USB.

After purchasing the CARE Memory Band, all a person has to do is plug it into a USB port. It automatically connects to download the software. Once installed, the program opens a window with numerous forms to be filled out. The information entered provides a complete medical history. It encompasses allergies, conditions, procedures, medications, history, insurance policies, doctors used, pharmacies frequented, local hospitals, emergency contacts, and more. Everything saves on the CARE Memory Band.

The red symbol is on the outside and on the inside is printed, “Plug into a USB port for my medical history.” Finally, all of your important records are accessible in those situations when you can’t provide the details. Instead of having to answer inane questions during an asthma attack, you just hand the hospital your CARE Memory Band.

The bracelet comes in a variety of colors or can be purchased as a keychain. If it gets wet, your information is still safe; just open it up and let it dry. You’ll need Windows to run the initial program but the device is readable by either Mac or PC.

I truly believe this is one of the all-time best uses of technology. Whether you have chronic issues or not, the CARE Memory Band stores data that could be vital to save your life and all the medical staff has to do is plug it in!

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Now having said that, the movies are an entirely different monster. Yes, just as much as we loved the show we anticipated the theatrical release of the first SEX AND THE CITY movie. It was 4 years in the making, and it felt like not a moment had gone by. The movie was a hit, even if the women we loved were changed. They were older, established, and more dream-like than the show ever portrayed them as. They were no longer the women we were, they were women we wanted to be. And that separated them from us, made us voyeurs and coveters of a lifestyle we could never have, and it worked in the first movie.

Not so much in the sequel. SEX AND THE CITY 2 had everything I loved about the first movie: beautiful clothes, beautiful men, and those 4 ladies who are each a part of me. However it took all the horrible elements of the first film (overt materialism, ridiculous relationship issues, and disgusting stereotyping) and pumped the volume up to eleven. I was often insulted and uncomfortable throughout the film.

It opens strong, reintroducing all the characters to us and even offering a glimpse at how each woman made their ways into Carrie Bradshaw’s life. We head off to a whimsical gay wedding between Carrie and Charlotte’s “best gays” Stanford and Anthony (Willie Garson and Mario Cantone). The wedding was hands down one of the best parts of the movie. It’s just unfortunate that it happens 15 minutes in. While there, Carrie and Mr. Big (Chris Noth) are asked by another couple if they plan to have children. This question is an easy answer for them both – no, it’s just not their thing. However, what is Carrie’s thing is attacking Big by declaring their new marriage boring and lacking “sparkle” once they return home from the wedding weekend. She is overwhelmed by insecurities in her marriage and worries that they have to spend the years as just the two without any glamor or excitement. Quelle horror!! A marriage that is comfortable and loving, I don’t really see a problem.

So, as a distraction from their lives, Samantha presents each of our ladies with an all-expenses paid trip to the uber-conservative Abu Dhabi. Once again, an excellent chance for the movie to reflect on real issues (Western and Eastern cultures colliding), however this falls even flatter than Carrie’s made-up drama over her marriage. This time it’s the highly sexual Samantha baring her shoulders and legs in front of traditional Muslims and then dismissing their culture. For a woman who is supposed to be the non-judgey one, Samantha’s lack of respect was a complete shift in character— a shift that comes off uneducated and bigoted. Badly done, Michael Patrick King, badly done.

I won’t even get into the ridiculously priced clothing, because that would just be a low blow. But if King’s intention was to give recession-minded women a taste of glamor, it comes off more ill-minded than CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC.

It’s a little heartbreaking for me to admit, but if this is what we are supposed to expect for this franchise, then I think the movies have run their course. I know that ladies, just like me, will go see this movie multiple times in the theater and even buy the DVD in six months, but I truly think I’d rather snuggle up with the series box-set. Yes, SEX AND THE CITY 2, that was your Post-It note.

Those cool kids over at Gordon and the Whale asked me to guest write a review this week. With their permission I’m also re-posting it here. Check out their site, they are pretty much all that’s great in this world.

The last few weeks have ushered in the season of summer blockbusters. First we had the record-breaking opening of IRON MAN 2, then came ROBIN HOOD, and this weekend that giant green ogre we all love returns for what is billed as his final swan song. SHREK FOREVER AFTER is bound to join its predecessors in the history books, but is it worthy of all the accolades coming its way in the next few weeks? Of that I am not sure.

The film opens with a happy, yet bored, Shrek (Mike Myers) twiddling his thumbs in swamp suburbia with his wife Fiona (Cameron Diaz) and their newborn ogre babies. They have both relinquished their royal titles and abdicated the Far, Far Away throne, and now live a primarily quiet domestic existence in Shrek’s former bachelor pad. After a year of parenthood, household chores involving outhouse repair, and his life becoming anything but terrifying to the local townspeople, Shrek finally snaps during his triplets’ birthday party. He says some pretty harsh things to his friends, family, and most importantly his wife. He flees the party and runs into the meddling Rumpelstiltskin (Walt Dohrn) who offers him the opportunity to relive one day being a “real ogre” in exchange for one day of Shrek’s.

Of course he signs the contract, but he quickly realizes Rumpel’s deals aren’t all they are cracked up to be. Before he knows it, Shrek is in an alternative Far, Far Away where Fiona was never rescued from the tower, his best friends Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) have no idea who he is, and Rumpel has taken over the kingdom from Fiona’s parents. Now he has 24 hours to fix the mess he created before he is stuck in this Far, Far Away forever.

The film sets out to retell the original SHREK from a different angle. What would have happened if Shrek had never been born?  What sort of butterfly effect would that have had on the rest of the Shrekverse? It’s a fun question to ask, ripe with story possibilities, I just wish the writers had spent a little more time flushing out their answers. I’ve always found the SHREK films fun but rushed, and this one is no different. All the familiar characters were new because this alternative world had hardened them. We needed time to get to know the new Donkey and Fiona as they were rougher around the edges. Donkey is a hustler and Fiona is the leader of a merry band of ogres set on ending Rumpel’s reign, they have both been hardened by this new world. The only truly charming moment happens when Puss appears on screen as less-than-svelte. He is hilarious and adds the levity that is normally reserved for Donkey. I literally declared “Thank God” to my movie partner when Puss uttered his catch phrase: “Feed me…if you dare.” Yo Dreamworks, when do I get my PUSS IN BOOTS movie?

Shrek is one of the most identifiable and enjoyable characters in animation. His adventures have captivated children and adults alike for the past decade, and who honestly doesn’t anticipate a new installment of the franchise? SHREK FOREVER AFTER should not disappoint animation freaks, but it does leave a little to be desired in actual story. It is often muddled and even discounts the third SHREK almost entirely. But overall, this newest SHREK is worth the 90 minutes, at least to see Puss in Boots.

Original review (Gordon and the Whale)

I started business school when I was 25. My life had progressed to a point that work experience was counting for nothing and not having a college education was counting for a lot. Since I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do, I picked the most generic degree that I could think of. It took about a year for me to figure out that I absolutely, without a doubt, unequivocally- hated it.

Every time I looked at finance methods or accounting practices or economic theories, I wanted to throw my computer across the room. Then one day, I responded to a Twitter request for writers and, to my surprise, was accepted. NerdyPerv let me say the things that no one wanted to talk about but everyone wanted to know. I got to reveal parts of myself and be educational, at the same time. The positive feedback made me wonder if I could give freelance writing a go.

I responded to a few job boards and contracts started coming my way. Most were for blurbs (small paragraphs detailing a product or service) but there were some substantial blogs too. I found myself with a steady income stream coming from my keyboard. It wasn’t always a lot of money but, to a full time student, even a little bit extra was appreciated.

After a while, I began getting requests from friends and family to help out with their internet and technology issues. I delved into every online tutorial on computer programming languages and codes that I could find. That knowledge came in handy.

Informing potential clients that I could not only write for them but then properly format the HTML or CSS to insert it, well it opened a lot of doors. As graduation neared, I realized that I wanted to apply my work experience, college education, and self taught knowledge. So I bought a domain.

It took a few months for me to figure out where to go with the website. I had a firm plan- back to school for a more focused, technology based degree and then make working via the internet a top priority. I reached out to every freelance website and job board that I knew of (and a few that I didn’t), creating and then updating business profiles.

I won’t lie to you and say that the process was an easy one, there were many fourteen hour work days that made me want to give up. Getting started was tedious and time consuming with bumps and realizations along the way. Like, I needed an actual office in my house and a schedule to stay on top of my projects but the perk was I could do it all in my sweatpants with no makeup!

Now, I get emails numerous times a day with listings for contract jobs that I’m qualified for. I peruse through them to pick and choose but I set limits: only work for American companies and only accept PayPal. I don’t oversell myself either. I’m honest about what I know and what I don’t. Clients appreciate that and it has legitimized my business.

Whether you are a writer, data security analyst or virtual assistant, there is a market for your skills online. Businesses need people to do jobs for them that are outside of their staff’s capabilities. Not every person can make telecommuting or freelancing into a full time career, even me. However, if you want flexibility and have the desire to market yourself- anything is possible.

Picture Source: My workspace at home

If so, I have a suggestion. Work for yourself.

While earning my business degree, I began to realize, during all that class required analysis, that the majority of companies began as something small and the most successful start-ups in recent history are internet based. Yahoo! (an acronym for “Yet Another Hierarchical Officious Oracle”) started as two guys working towards their PhD’s in a trailer at Stanford  and then turned their web history project into the dominating e-force it is today. Google began with two other Stanford students in their garage and their dream of creating a search engine usable by all (the name is a variation of the word googol which is a mathematical term for the number represented by the numeral 1 followed by 100 zeros.) Facebook is the result of its founder being a hacker at Harvard who wanted a social network for college students. Youtube started when two colleagues were working late and couldn’t figure out an online forum to share their videos of an office party with each other. Ebay began as a test website, created in the living room of a software developer who listed a broken laser pointer for sale. The rest is history.

After graduation, I needed to take time to figure out what direction I wanted my own career to take. I knew that going back to school was a certainty but I had to determine the field of work I wanted to be in. The realization was so sudden that I felt idiotic for not seeing it sooner: the internet. Within a week, I had bought a domain. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it though and it wasn’t until I saw that all my experience could be combined into a business that I got a vague idea to go from there. The venture is far from a full time gig but it is a start. It gives me a direction to go in, a goal to aim for, a success to work towards.

If you have an idea for a business, go for it! Yes, it may go there eventually but start small. You need to realize that there is a niche for everything out there. All you need to do is find yours but most importantly, you need to see for yourself: It isn’t impossible to work via your computer!

You can do freelance work of practically every variety through numerous online sites like Freelancer and oDesk. If you have merchandise that you want to sell, then setting up an online store through eBay or Etsy might be up your alley. If you want to host your own site then GoDaddy, Intuit, or Volusion might be the better choice.

It takes discipline and drive to force yourself to seek out jobs online. No one is looking over your shoulder to make sure that the project is complete or to see that you are staying on task. You have to keep your focus, all on your own. But working for a company that allows you the flexibility to telecommute or accepting contracts that utilize your expertise can be much more satisfying (and lucrative) than driving to an office every day.

I’m not saying quit your day job. Heck, even I never stop looking for opportunities that might be perfect for me and in a traditional office setting. The internet is a great spot for those with the entrepreneurial spirit–low overhead and endless possibilities. The world is, literally, at your finger tips.

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